


Seahorses Link Tails So They Don’t Lose Each Other

by ailaikannu



Series: Seahorses [1]
Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Ballie, Ballie being prison wives, Ballie endgame, Bea top dog, Drama because I love drama, F/F, Maxine is the biggest Ballie shipper, Prison life after their attacks, Spoiler alert : Bea lives, Spoiler alert : nobody dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-07-26 23:34:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 12,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7594711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ailaikannu/pseuds/ailaikannu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after the Wentworth Season 4 finale (no deaths, because Bea is still alive, fight me). This is how Allie and Bea will recover from their attacks from Ferguson, how they're going to resume their lives in prison and I'm going to write a shit-ton of chapters for this fanfictions because we have to wait for ten freaking months before we get a season 5. </p><p>Or</p><p>Bea and Allie being prison wives after the finale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Found Love Where It Wasn't Supposed To Be

**Author's Note:**

> I really didn't want to post this, because I normally write five chapters of a story before publishing it... But I think it might help. I'm posting it, fuck this.  
> I'll try to update as fast as I can.  
> (Am I the only one who's been crying all day long ?)

 

Her plan was to kill Ferguson.

She had a screwdriver hidden in her sleeve, she was ready to take another life. She had killed Jacs and Brayden for Debbie. Now it was Ferguson’s turn, for Allie.

She saw the fear in the Freak’s eyes when she showed her the screwdriver. Of course she never expected to be the one being stabbed in the end. She knew Ferguson wouldn’t attack her on purpose, not right outside the prison.

Bea wanted Ferguson to pay for all the pain she'd caused. She grabbed Ferguson’s arm and forced the screwdriver into her stomach multiple times.

The pain of being stabbed was something foreign. It almost felt like flames taking over her body. She realized that Ferguson had started moving the screwdriver inside her, to make more damage. She accepted that she was going to die.

Debbie was dead.

Allie was now dead as well.

There was nothing left to live for.

She had fought for so long, to be top dog, to be respected, to gain a name inside those walls. She had fought against Jacs, against Franky, against Ferguson, against Kaz. Nothing mattered anymore. Power didn’t matter anymore. Fear didn’t matter anymore. Living didn’t matter anymore.

She was dying.

Leaving this world.

And Ferguson was finally going to pay for all the lives she’d taken.

“Bea ! Bea ! Drop the knife ! Bea ! You stay with me, okay ?” Will’s voice was soft, and yet demanding. “Where’s the fucking ambulance ?”

Both Will and Vera were crouched next to Bea, trying to stop the wounds from bleeding. She was smiling, staring at the sky, looking at two clouds above her.

_“Did you know that seahorses like to swim in pairs ? They link tails so they don’t lose each other.”_

Allie’s voice echoed clearly through her ears, while all the other sounds around her sounded muffled and unclear. She had asked Allie to wait for her, and she was going to join her and Debbie up somewhere in the sky.

They were going to be happy.

She knew she was getting weaker and weaker with each second passing, because she already felt like she was floating in mid-air, leaving her body behind.

Before everything went black, she heard Will scream for her.

She knew it was too late.

 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

Allie felt like breathing was the most difficult task in the world. She felt her body begging her to breathe, but it hurt too much. It was painful to even think about breathing, but it was worse not to breathe.

She was alone in her hospital bed, she’d seen Maxine upon waking up, but they had taken her away after a few minutes. The taller girl had managed to tell her that Bea was fine,  and that she was worried sick for her, but that she was going to be ecstatic once she got to tell her that Allie was fine.

Allie had smiled at the mention of Bea’s name, and a weird warmth took over her body for a minute or so. She was pretty sure she’d heard her lover’s voice while she was asleep. Or maybe she’d dreamed of her.

Officer Miles was right outside her door, standing still, waiting for someone to show up and take her place. 

They'd taken the tube that helped her breathe out of her throat a few minutes after she woke up. They had replaced it with a nasal cannula that helped her a bit with her breathing. It still felt like the world's weight was crushing her chest.

When Allie woke up the morning after, she noticed that officer Miles had been replaced by Mr. Jackson, who was sitting in a chair next to her bed.

“Hey, Allie… You okay ?” He asked.

She looked at him. Why would they put the deputy governor to look after an inmate in the hospital ?

She nodded slightly.

He sighed loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Listen, I’m here to tell you something.”

Panic started filling her chest and the look on Jackson’s face only contributed to making it worse.

“Bea was attacked last night.”

Allie felt like she couldn’t breathe anymore. It was hurting more than usual, the kind of pain she was feeling was too much to handle. The day Bea was attacked the first time and she was accused of helping Ferguson plot everything, she had felt like nothing was going to hurt her more than that.

The moment those words escaped Will’s mouth, Allie realized she’d been wrong. The idea of Bea being attacked, of Bea being hurt…

“She was stabbed multiple times by Ferguson. They had to operate on her, it was a quite long surgery, I believe around ten hours. But she’s okay now. Well, as okay as a person who’s been stabbed can be. They said she’s not critical, and that she’s going to wake up soon. You can breathe now.”

Allie sighed in relief. Yes, Bea had been stabbed. But she was okay now. She was in the hospital, where nobody could touch her. Nobody was going to hurt her in here.

“Is she awake ?”

“No, not yet. But there’s an officer with her and I made him promise to call me if anything changes.”

“Do you think I could go see her ?”

Will looked at her with pursued lips. “I don’t think that’s going to be possible. The governor is coming later this morning, maybe you can ask her.”

Allie was frustrated.

Bea was badly injured.

She was in the same building.

And they wouldn’t let her see her.

She knew there was nothing she could do about it. She was confined to her hospital bed, luckily not cuffed to it, but she was pretty sure her legs would give out if she tried to get up. Even the idea of getting up made her feel weak.

“She’s going to be fine, Allie. When they took her to the ICU to recover from the surgery I told her that you’re awake. I’m not sure she could hear me, but if she did, she’s going to fight for you. If the governor won’t let you see her, maybe we can arrange a phone call. You could talk to her, like she talked to you.”

“She talked to me ?”

He nodded. “Yes. When Maxine came here, Bea talked to you over the phone…”

Allie smiled weakly. “I thought I’d dreamed about her.”

Then she broke down.

 She was crying like she’d never cried before, sobbing, hiccupping with each shaky breath she took. Her whole body was shaking, her hands were trembling, trying to cover her red, puffy eyes. She was a sobbing mess, and she felt like she could drown in her own tears. 


	2. You Wait For Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The original plan was to upload once a week, but it was ready... Why not  
> Enjoy !

She kept tossing and turning in bed, looking at Will, shifting her gaze from his face to the radio on his belt. The radio had been silent all morning long, and Allie was frustrated. Mr. Jackson had told her multiple times to get some sleep, but she couldn’t sleep knowing that Bea wasn’t awake yet. She had fallen asleep pretty quickly the night before, exhausted just by being awake, but she'd woken up around four in the morning and hadn't been able to fall back asleep since then.

“Are you sure you told the other officer to tell you when Bea wakes up ?”

“You realize you’ve asked me this same exact question about fifteen times in the past four hours, yeah ?”

“I reckon he might have forgotten.”

Will sighed loudly. “Allie… It's eight in the morning, you woke me at four saying that maybe the officer fell asleep and hasn't noticed that Bea is awake.”

“I’m just saying. You told me that she was out of surgery last morning, it's been 24 hours and she's still not awake. Either there's something wrong, or you're hiding something from me.”

“Would it make you feel better if I went and checked on her ?”

Allie smiled gratefully. “Yes, that would help.”

“I’ll go as soon as the governor gets here.”

It wasn’t what she wanted, but it was the best she could get. She still hoped Vera would allow her to go see Bea. She hoped the sort of friendship between Vera and Bea was going to help, but two attacks in the prison on the same day definitely did not make Vera happy. Or the board. Which probably meant that the governor was pissed and not willing to be nice.

When Vera finally appeared next to her door, Allie sighed. It was the moment of truth. 

“Novak, glad to see that you’re awake. How are you ?”

“Can I maybe go see Bea ?”

Vera sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose. “I don’t think so.”

“Please. I need to.”

“Novak, you’re both prisoners. You’re both been hurt pretty badly. They thought you wouldn’t even wake up.”

“And yet, I did. I’m awake and well. Bea isn’t awake yet, and she should be. Maybe me being there would help.”

“I can’t let you go, Novak. I’m sorry.” Vera sighed and Allie felt like she was going to cry. “You know I would let you, but the board is looking closely at what I do.”

Then Allie did cry. Closing her eyes, trying to hide the weakness she felt consuming her soul. During the four hours she'd spent with Mr. Jackson, he had told her that Bea had tried to go to the hospital before being attacked by Ferguson. Of course she was considered a dangerous criminal, she had managed to escape the prison before... But she thought that the governor would let her be escorted to see Bea. She wasn't dangerous, hell, she couldn't even get up yet without asisstance. What was she going to do ?

When she heard Will rushing back to her room and she felt her heart physically stop in her chest.

“She’s awake.”

Allie felt a sudden rush of relief running through her whole body, from the top of her head to her toes. A huge smile broke on her face and the tears streaming down her face seemed to be multiplying with each second passing. Before she could ask how Bea was, Will talked again.

“She asked about you. First thing she said when they took out her breathing tube was your name. She can’t talk well yet, it’s the only thing she said.”

He smiled warmly at her, and Allie felt like she didn’t want to hide the tears anymore. So she cried, she sobbed, she let her body shake with all the emotions she was feeling. Both Vera and Will looked at her with soft smiles.

“If you reacted that way about her saying your name, you should see the video I recorded while I was telling her that you’re awake and well.”

Vera looked at him with evident surprise in her eyes. “I know, governor, I probably shouldn’t have.”

“I’ll pretend like I didn’t hear that. Show her the video.”

Will grabbed his phone and walked towards Allie’s bed, he then sat down on the chair from the night before and showed her the video. “She was being attacked while you were waking up, so she didn’t know that you're awake.”

_The video started with Will's face, before he was able to turn the camera on Bea. There were beeping sounds, way too many tubes attached to Bea's body and a suffocating sense of wrongness about what Allie was seeing.  
_

_"Hey, Bea, Bea, look at me for a second.”_

_Brown, slightly unfocused eyes looked at the person recording the video._

_“I need to tell you something.”_

_The red-head nodded her head slightly, waiting for Will to talk._

_“Allie’s awake.”_

_Bea’s eyes widened as she covered her mouth with her left hand. Tears started rolling down her cheeks. “She’s alright, Bea. Allie is alright.”_

_The phone was passed to the other agent as Will walked towards Bea, who was still shaking._

_“Allie…” She said, her voice croaked._

Will looked at Allie for a second before playing the video again and again. And again.

“Maybe we could record something to show her ?” He asked, hesitantly looking at Allie and then at Vera.

“Just this one. I’ll pretend I’m not here.”

Allie smiled widely. “Thank you so much.”

Will took out his phone and smiled at Allie. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Allie took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a second.

“Bea, my love. I was so scared when they told me that you were attacked, but I was promised you’d be alright. I was just told that you woke up, Mr. Jackson showed me a video he recorded while telling you that I’m awake and I figured I could do one for you as well. You hang in there, you stay strong, we’ll be together soon, alright ? I’m right here, I’m not leaving you, okay ? We’ll be fine. I promise you, we’ll be fine.

Like seahorses, we like swimming in pairs. We link tails so we don’t lose each other. You'll never lose me, our tails are linked. I’m not letting you go, I love you.”

 

 


	3. I Love You, Beautiful Girl

Bea had watched the video Will had recorded for her a thousand times and had cried every single one of them. Seeing Allie in that state made her sick, but seeing that she was getting better made her calm down whenever she felt frustrated for not being able to actually go visit her. The image of Allie on the bathroom floor never left her head whenever she closed her eyes, which made it difficult to want to sleep. Thankfully, she was still on pain meds, and sleep usually did come, even when she didn’t want to close her eyes. 

“Have you seen Allie today ?” Bea asked, shifting uncomfortably in her bed. She had realized that being stabbed wasn’t fun, but it had been worth it.

She knew she couldn’t frame Ferguson for killing Allie, but she needed to take revenge on her. She thought killing her was her best option, but she had soon realized that her opponent was stronger than she was. 

In the frenzy of the moment she thought letting Ferguson kill her was a good idea. At least she was going to be arrested for her murder. 

“Considering that it’s six in the morning, and I’ve spent the night here, no, I haven’t seen Allie today.”

“Is she awake ? Do you reckon maybe I could call her ?”

Will sighed. He had spent the previous day with Allie, who had asked him about calling Bea every fifteen minutes. He had been suspended, but seeing the commotion that had happened in Wentworth after the drug test, Vera had agreed on letting him stay in the hospital as a guard until both Bea and Allie were released, and then his suspension would begin. “The governor was gracious enough to let me record those two videos for you the other day, I don’t think she’d like this.”

Bea sighed in frustration, clenching both her fists. “The governor is not here.”

Will looked at her. When they had received the phone call from Maxine saying that Allie wasn’t waking up, he had felt particularly close to Bea. She had gone through so much, she didn’t deserve the death of the love of her life. He knew that she had never felt that way with Harry, he knew everything about this relationship was new to Bea. The way Bea had reacted, the pain he saw in her eyes... It reminded him of what he had gone through with Meg. 

“I’m giving you five minutes and don’t even try to complain when I walk back in.”

Bea’s eyes lit up at the comment as she nodded her head furiously. Will grabbed his phone and dialled officer Miles’ number.

“Linda, is Novak awake ? Would you mind putting her through ? Smith wants to talk to her.”

He handed Bea the phone before leaving the room, checking his watch while walking away.

Bea closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath. “Allie ?”

There was a moment of silence followed by a whimper. “Bea.”

Even after seeing the video Will had recorded for her, Bea felt like hearing Allie’s voice through a phone call was something else. She closed her eyes, imagining Allie next to her. Holding her hand, stroking her hair, looking at her.

“Beautiful, how are you ?”

“I’m okay, I’m okay. How are you ? Were you really stabbed thirteen times ?” Allie urged.

“It appears I have. It’s not like I was counting them.”

Allie was glad to hear that Bea’s sarcasm was still there. “Why did you do that ?”

“I…” Bea sighed. “The plan was to frame The Freak for… Well, for your murder. I… I thought she didn’t deserve to live if you were dead.”

“You risked dying… For me ? For revenge ?” Allie desperately tried holding in the tears. As if hearing Bea's voice wasn't enough.

She failed miserably, realizing it made no sense to try and hide that she was crying.

“I guess I wasn’t sure if it was revenge or awareness that life without you means nothing right now. I couldn’t bear the idea of losing you. I thought I had nothing left to live for if you were gone.” Bea admitted, feeling her eyes filling up with tears.

“They told me that Maxine came to see me while I was critical, and somehow managed to have you talk to me through a phone... I think I heard you. I don’t remember what you said, but I’m pretty sure I heard you. I thought I was dreaming, but then Will explained to me what happened… I heard your voice and thought that everything made sense.”

“I love you, Allie. You know that.”

“That’s a shame.” Allie joked.

Bea laughed gently on the other side of the phone. “Sorry about that.”

“No, it’s okay. I love you too.”

“Allie, Mr. Jackson just walked in, telling me our five minutes are up. I’ll see you when we both get out of here. Be safe, I love you.”

“Thank Mr. Jackson for me, I’ll talk to you later. I love you.”

Bea handed the phone over to Mr. Jackson. “Allie said to thank you.”

“That girl is doing some magic on you, Smith.” Will said, smiling.

“Is she ?” Bea asked, a bit confused.

Will looked at her. She was still crying softly, but she had the biggest smile he'd ever seen on her face. “Yeah. You look… Happier. Lighter. I don’t know. You just look better.”

“Thank you.” Bea said, blushing slightly. 

“Oh, thank her. You’re both helping each other out, though, right ? I know Novak had some issues with drugs.”

Bea's smile faltered a little. “I guess, yes.”

“You got yourself something good, don’t let it go to waste. Don’t let the prison ruin this for you.”

“I won’t.” She smiled. “I’ve never felt like this before.”

 


	4. You'll Lose Your Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry guys if it took me this long to update. The chapter was actually ready a few days ago, but I have no WiFi where I am and it's hard to update. I promise I'll do better for the next one.

“But it’s been six days !” Bea hissed, clenching her fists.

“Smith, I’m not changing my mind. You can’t visit her and she can’t visit you.”

“I’m losing my mind here, governor. We were closer when we were in the damn slot.”

“The doctors said you’re both doing well, you’ll be out of here soon and you’ll get to spend all your free time with Novak.” Vera sighed. “Plus, you got the video, I know Mr. Jackson let you call her and today Conway is coming for her treatment, I guess I’ll let her visit the both of you, maybe you could write Novak something.”

Bea was silent for a minute. She had learned to appreciate the little things. It’s not like she had much of a choice. “Alright, thank you.”

Vera nodded slightly “Try not to kill a nurse with the pen you’ll be given.” She said, before leaving the room.

Bea waited for a few hours for Maxine to come and visit her, and wrote a small note to Allie in the meantime.  She felt relieved when she finally saw her friend, familiar faces were always welcome in the dullness of her white room. The brunette stared at her silently for a full minute before walking closer to her bed.

“Oh, Bea…”

“I’m alright, I’m alright.” Bea said. “No need to worry. And I assure you, this wasn’t the plan.”

“You say that because you can’t see yourself. I’m glad to see that you’re fine.” Maxine smiled warmly. “You really worried us, Bea.”

“I’m really glad they let you come and visit me. How’s the prison holding up without me ?”

“Kaz is trying to do your job. It isn’t working as well as we thought it would.”

“Why ?” Bea asked, a confused frown on her face.

“She’s… I don’t know. I’m not sure it’s her thing. She’s good at leading groups, but a whole prison is something else.”

“She’ll learn. It’s difficult to adjust to being Top Dog. Have you seen Allie ?”

“No, I came to see you first. Have you seen her ?”

“No, the governor won’t let me. But she did let me write a small letter, I guess I learnt how to appreciate the small things while being in here.” Bea said, her voice full of resentment.

“You know she’s okay, let it be enough. Officer Miles told me they let you call her.”

“They did, but I’ve been here for six days and it’s getting overwhelming to know that she’s a room away and I can’t see her. I’m going crazy. I’m holding on just because I know that she’s fine and that Mr. Jackson is always with her whenever he’s not with me. If she was still in a coma, I think I’d go crazy.” Bea closed her eyes, trying to stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks. The idea of Allie being in a coma was still unbearable.

“You’ll be out of here soon and you’ll get to be with her for as long as you want to.”

“I’m looking forward to going back to prison. Sounds weird, but it’s the truth. I’m telling you, I feel more freedom when I’m in Wentworth.”

Maxine nodded. “No, I understand. The hospital feels worse.”

“How are you feeling ?”

“I’m feeling okay. I’m ready to fight this.”

“I’m proud of you, Maxine. For fighting this, for pulling through even though it’s hard…”

“Thank you, Bea. I think I need to go now…” Maxine said, glancing at officer Miles, who nodded slightly at her. “Do you want me to tell anything to Allie ?”

Bea thought about it for a second. “Yeah, tell her that I love her and that I’ll see her soon. Oh, and that I keep seeing seahorses in my sleep.”

“Will do. Do you want me to give her the letter ?”

Bea nodded as she handed the note to Maxine, thanking her again. Maxine was escorted to Allie’s room, that was about four doors down Bea’s. She walked in, to find Allie talking to Mr. Jackson.

The blonde smiled widely at her.

“I’m glad to see that you’re alright.” Maxine said. “The last time I saw you, you were...”

“Dying ? Yeah, that wasn’t fun at all.” Allie laughed lightly. “I’m much better now, though… How are you ?”

“I’m good, waiting for my treatment… How about you ? Like, how are you really feeling ?”

“Weak, bored, frustrated because they won’t let me see Bea.”

Maxine laughed softly. “She’s the same. You guys are made for each other.”

“I miss her.” Allie’s smile turned into a sad frown.

“I know you do. But she’s alright, still the same Bea she was six days ago. You won’t be here for much longer. I just went to see her, actually… She asked me to tell you that she loves you, that she’ll see you soon and that she sees seahorses in her sleep. Oh, and she wanted me to give you this.” Maxine said, handing Allie the note.

Allie smiled softly, fighting the tears she felt forming in her eyes.  She grabbed the note and held it close to her chest, deciding to read it once Maxine was gone. “I’m glad I’m not the only one, I thought I was going crazy.”

“What is it with you two and seahorses ?”

“Do you remember when you and Boomer found us laying on the ground ? When Kaz told everyone that it was Bea who lagged on Mercado ?”

“Yes, it was quite a moment.”

“Well, before Kaz got there I was telling Bea how seahorses swim in pairs, they link tails so they don’t lose each other. I guess it became our thing, we feel like seahorses.”

“I always knew lesbians were weird.”

Allie laughed. “Don’t let Bea hear you say that. She’s not gay.”

“Oh, yeah.” Maxine smirked.  “Of course.”

“How did she look ? Is she actually fine ?”

“Frustrated because she can’t see you, a bit uncomfortable because she was stabbed thirteen times in the guts… But yeah, she looked fine. As fine as she can possibly be. You should have seen her the day you were attacked… She wasn’t the same Bea. I reckon the thought of you being well is making her better.”

“I wish I could be with her.”

Maxine nodded solemnly. “She feels the same… I promise you it’ll be over soon and you’ll be together.”

They were silent for a moment, before Allie cleared her voice and spoke up. “I wanted to thank you for being here with me the first day… For keeping me company, for calling Bea…”

“It was my pleasure, I kept hoping you’d wake up. They said you couldn’t, but you’re a fighter… Bea was sure you’d wake up.”

“Do you know what happened to The Freak ?”

Maxine sighed. “No, I actually have no idea. Haven’t see her around, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Allie smiled weakly at her friend. “I hope they got her. I mean, I want Bea’s attack to be worth it.”

As Maxine was escorted to her treatment session, Allie slowly opened the note Bea had written for her.

_Hey love, we started communicating via rap songs back when we were in the slot, I guess now it’s time to use letters. I can’t wait to see you, to hold you, to kiss you… To just look at you. I miss you dearly and I promise I’ll see you soon. I’m sorry I failed at protecting you, I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me the most. I know the idea of spending ten years in prison isn’t something you were dreaming of when you were a little girl… But I’ll be there. Every day, every moment. I’ll be there to support you, to hold you when you need me to, to laugh with you. I’ll be there, always._

_I love you, Allie Cat. Never forget that._

_Bea_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If them being in the hospital is getting boring, bear with me. Next chapter : someone is getting out from the hospital.   
> Update of my feelings towards the finale : Still in denial.  
> P.S : About Bea's sexuality... It was never really stated what she identifies as, and I don't really think it matters... But I like to think the whole "I'm not gay" thing became kind of a joke around H1.


	5. The One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy !

“Novak, you’re getting out.”

Allie rolled her eyes. “Out of the hospital to be brought back to prison. The irony.”

“Yeah, you’ll be in medical for a few days and then back to your unit.”

“Will I be able to see Bea ?”

“No, not until you’re out of medical.”

“What ?” Allie’s eyes were wide with anger. “You said I was going to see her once I got out of here !”

Mr. Jackson took a deep breath. “I know what I said, but the Governor had a different idea in mind.”

Allie sighed loudly. She had been sighing loudly for ten days. Always trying to convince Will or Linda to let her go see Bea, trying to make them understand how important it was for them.

It never worked.

Mr. Jackson was always telling her that she could complain as much as she wanted to, but she would never reach Bea’s level of annoyance. He explained that Bea was constantly asking about her.

It made Allie’s heart swell with love.

“When is Bea getting out ?”

“I have no idea.”

She got up, gladly enjoying the strength she had regained during her stay at the hospital and took off the hospital gown to go back to her teal sweats and white shirt. It almost felt comforting to be back to her old clothes. She groaned when Will walked towards her with the wheelchair, but decided against complaining. She’d done enough of that to last her for a year.

She sat on the wheelchair, looking around the room that had been her home for ten days. She’d gotten used to the white walls, the big windows, the neon lights. She kind of missed Wentworth.

Will talked to her, but she didn’t seem to listen. She had her head resting on her hand, that was on the wheelchair’s handle. She had been dreaming of going back to Wentworth, not thinking that she might end up in medical for a few days before actually being back to her unit.

“Allie ?”

She would have recognized that voice anywhere. It might have been weak and almost like a whisper, but Allie knew she wasn't hallucinating.

Will thought for a second that the blonde was going to break her own neck by the quickness with which she turned her head. He was already smiling, knowing what was about to happen. He turned the wheelchair around, so that Allie was facing the person calling her name. The blonde looked stunned, her eyes were wide open with surprise and a few tears were rolling down her cheeks.

It all happened fast, but it felt like it was in slow-motion. Allie got up, ran towards Bea, helped her up, grabbed her face with both hands and just stared at her.

Both women stood with tears in their eyes, not talking, just staring at each other. There was a moment where Allie realized that Bea found it hard to stand up, and she placed both her hands on the woman’s waist, to support her. After a while, Bea kissed her softly, for just a second, before placing her head on the blonde’s shoulder.

“I love you.” Bea whispered, shaking slightly.

“I love you too.” Allie said, her voice a bit louder than Bea’s.  “I’m so glad I’m finally able to see you.”

“You can’t understand how happy I am to see that you’re fine. That you’re alive. That you’re real.”

They both cried silently for a few minutes before they got escorted out of the hospital and to the prison van. They sat close to each other, Bea with her hands cuffed, but still stubbornly trying to hold Allie’s hand.

They didn’t talk, but spent the whole ride back to prison just staring at each other, in complete awe. Bea complained when they were separated once again, but eventually gave up when they told her they might let them see each other some time soon if they both behaved.

The Governor came to visit her about twenty minutes after being back to Wentworth.

“I heard you saw Allie today.” Vera said, a knowing smile on her face.

“Yeah… I reckon you let that happen. Thank you, it was needed.”

“It’s alright.” Vera said. “I realized it was going to do you both some good. Now that I see you, I know I was right. You look much better already.”

“I feel much better.” Bea commented. “I’m still so surprised by what love can do. I… I didn’t think it was going to happen to me.”

“I’m glad it happened to you, Smith. You deserve it.”

Bea was a bit surprised. She knew she had a special relationship with the Governor, but had always assumed it was because of her position as Top Dog. As she stared into Vera’s eyes, she realized the Governor might have a soft spot for her, despite her position.

“Thank you.”

“I think I’ll go see Novak, now. No worries, Smith. You’ll both be back to your units in a couple of days.”

Bea nodded as she watched the Governor walk away, a huge smile plastered on her face. She was finally able to sit properly, without wincing in pain every ten minutes and gladly accepted the nurse’s offer to sit on a chair instead of laying down in bed.

“Since you weren’t cuffed to your bed, I suggest you move from it to the chair every so often, but only if it doesn’t hurt.” She had said.

So Bea did as suggested. It still took her longer than usual to move, but she was happy to be back on her feet.

The three days in medical passed rather quickly, since she got to see Allie on the second day. The visit was brief and without much physical contact, but they were both happy with what they got. Just getting to see each other felt like heaven. She got to see Doreen as well, who talked to her about Kaz being Top Dog and how different the prison felt without her.

Soon enough, they were back in H1, surrounded by people who hugged them and asked them questions.

It was weird, but it felt like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As some of you might have noticed, this fanfiction is part of a series. The plan is to write a series made of three parts, the first one is this one, the second one will be set five years after this one and the last one will describe Allie's last year in Wentworth.   
> Update on how I feel about Bea being "dead" : Still NOPE


	6. You And Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie finally meets Franky.

“So, Kaz… How is it being Top Dog ?”

Bea was sitting on the sofa in H1, Allie was right next to her. They were holding hands, as they had been since being released from medical.

Everything was going back to normal.

She looked at Kaz, who was sitting on a chair in front of her. She looked tired, with huge, black circles around her eyes. Her skin was paler than usual, her hairs was messier and she looked a bit skinnier than she was when they left Wentworth.

“Hard.” Kaz said. “Not what I expected. People are always coming to me when something happens, drug smuggling has gone through the roof since you got attacked, people keep bashing other people…”

“I might not be Top Dog anymore, but the drug problem is still my thing. I’ll take care of that.”

Kaz nodded gratefully. In a matter of days since Bea and Allie’s return, she realized that her position as Top Dog wasn’t secure. People started looking for Bea whenever there was a problem, even if the redhead kept telling them off. Boomer still followed Bea everywhere she went, same with Maxine. 

She realized it didn't really matter.

They had been back for about ten days when Kim went to talk to Bea.

“I need to tell you something.”

“Go ahead.”

“I saw The Freak in the slot.”

Bea’s heart stopped. “I reckon you were high and you imagined her.”

“No, I saw her.” Kim stated. "I don't even get high."

Bea bolted to her feet, running to look for an officer. She found Miles in the hallway and told her she needed to see the governor. Linda just sighed, used to Bea’s demands. She took her to Vera’s office and knocked lightly on the door.

The moment Vera saw Bea, she realized what was happening.

“Please, tell me it was a mistake and one of us didn’t see Ferguson in the slot.”

Vera sighed. “It’s not a mistake, Smith. I need to keep her here till her trial.”

“You remember what happened the last time you kept her here, right ?” Bea asked, her voice full of venom.

“I do. But the plan is a bit different this time. She won’t be coming out of the slot anytime soon.”

“You said the same last time ! And she managed to hot shot Allie and shiv me thirteen times ! Can you assure me that she'll stay there this time ?”

“Yes. We still have no proof for what she did to Novak, but I saw what she did to you with my own eyes. She’s too dangerous to be kept in general. You won’t be seeing her. That is if you don’t get yourself a place in the slot.”

“I won’t. I definitely don’t want to see that face ever again. What about the officer who helped her ?”

"I still don't know who it was, it's kind of difficult to keep her away from all the officers. We did hire two new guards who are in charge of her, though. Are you ever going to explain to me why you got yourself thirteen stabs in the guts instead of doing what you told me you’d do ?”

“Allie was dead.” Bea said, her voice low and steady. “My mind wasn’t clear enough to follow the plan.”

Vera nodded, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I see. You may go now.”

Apart from taking care of the several problems with drugs and spending the rest of her time with Allie, Bea often found herself bored. When she first got to Wentworth, she was busy with Jacs, then with Franky. When Franky was released, she started having problems with Kaz. The prison life she knew was the Top Dog one. Always taking care of problems, always having to fight someone.

“What’s up with you ?” Liz asked her, one day. She had been back from the hospital for about a month.

“Is it weird to say that being just another prisoner is a bit boring ?”

“It’s not when you’re lived your whole time in here being Top Dog, or aiming to, or being preoccupied with plans to avenge your daughter.” Liz said, matter-of-factly.

“I guess you’re right.” Bea commented. “It’s nice to be able to be with Allie a lot, though. I love being with her, everything feels still so damn new and… I don’t know, sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve the love she gives me.”

“You deserve it, Bea. You just have to get used to it, to understand that she’s yours, that she loves you and always will. I know you have lived your whole life with a husband that didn’t treat you the way you deserved… But now you found your someone. You found your person.”

“I guess I did.” Bea smiled. “I just… I was so used to what Harry called love. I thought that was it. I thought Harry was my chance at romance and it was a huge flop. Then Allie came around… And I realized what love is. What it feels like to love and to be loved back. It’s nice.”

“I’m really happy you found her.” Liz said. “Have you seen Franky lately ?”

“She’s actually coming to see me today. And she’s finally going to meet Allie !”

“Are you nervous about that ?”

“A little bit.” Bea admitted. “It’s like I’m introducing her to the only bit of my family that she still hasn’t met. I’m so glad I didn’t have to do this with you all.”

“Go get her, then. It’s almost visitation time.”

“I’ll see ya later Liz.”

Bea quickly walked to the exercise area, where she knew she’d find Allie. She found there with Kaz and a few other girls from H3, talking about some issue Kaz was having with Juice.

“Hey girls.” Bea greeted. “I’m sorry but I’ll have to take Allie with me, Franky is coming to visit us.”

“Oooh, you’re meeting the fam, Novak.” Kaz commented.

Allie rolled her eyes. “She’s nice though, isn’t she ?”

Bea laughed lightly. “She can be nice when she wants to.”

They walked away together, holding hands. Bea could sense that Allie was nervous, and gave her a reassuring smile. They went their separate ways to be searched before going in to see Franky.

Bea was the first one to walk in, and saw Franky waiting at a table, with two chairs in front of her. They hugged briefly, before sitting down. Franky smirked knowingly at Bea when Allie walked in.

Bea got up, and so did Franky. The brunette shook vigorously Allie’s hand, smiling warmly at her.

“I’m so glad I finally get to meet you, I heard so much about you.” Franky said, sitting down.

“Same here, everyone in here seems to love you dearly.” Allie commented.

“And how could they not ?” Franky smirked.

They talked for a while, Franky was enthusiast about her job and her life with Bridget, but missed her family in Wentworth quite a while. When it was time to leave, Franky got up and hugged Bea first and the proceeded to hug Allie as well.

“Take good care of Red, she deserves it.” She whispered in her ear.

 


	7. Don't Let This Be Our Final Song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing too much not to publish, so... Here you go.  
> Enjoy !  
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated.

Laying on the ground and looking at the clouds was one of their favourite things to do. One day, as she stroked her thumb on Bea’s hand, Allie turned her head slightly, so that she was facing her lover.

“Can I ask you something ?” She said, carefully.

“Sure.” Bea said, facing her.

“Did you ever think I had done that to myself ?” Allie's voice was almost like a whisper, hesitant. 

“What ?”

“When you found me in the bathroom… Needle in sight, my arm strapped up… Did you think I had done that to myself ? Allie explained, her voice a bit firmer.

Bea sat up and Allie followed her. The red-head took both the blonde’s hand in hers.

“No, never. Not even when I found you in the bathroom. You promised, I knew I could trust you. You said you wouldn’t. I kept telling Mr. Jackson that someone had done that to you, someone had attacked you. I was sure of it.”

Allie smiled. “I just don’t want you to think I make promises and don’t follow them. I meant what I said, I don’t need drugs anymore.”

Bea kissed her on the cheek. “I know.”

“Why do you think Ferguson tried to kill me ?”

Bea took a deep breath. “To hurt me. I realized it was her who did that to you, because I saw her when I was in medical after the fight with Kaz. She gave me her condolences and said you were collateral damage. I just…” She stopped for a second, fearing she might cry. “I didn’t fear her. I didn’t even think it could be her, not even for a second. I thought it was Kaz. How could Ferguson do that to you if she was confined in medical and escorted anywhere she went ? I failed at protecting you. Even if I knew how dangerous she could be.”

“There was nothing you could have done to protect me. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Allie stated. “If you were here, she would have killed you.”

“If myself being attacked meant not having you hurt, I’d take it every day.”

“I know you would. We don’t have to worry about her anymore, she’s not in Wentworth.”

Bea nodded, feeling bad for lying to Allie. “Yeah.”

“Do you know who keeps smuggling drugs in here ?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s Tina, but I can’t do anything about it till I’m sure.” Bea commented.

“I was always the high one, I never realized how annoying junkies can be.” Allie said, her eyes wandering towards the sky once more.

“You get pretty annoying when you’re high.”

Allie looked positively offended. “I don’t !”

“Oh, yes you do. You do know that you said something like ‘wanna pet my pussy mama ?’, right ?”

“I can’t believe I said that. Did I really say that ?” Allie had her mouth open in disbelief.

“Yeah, and everyone heard you. You can be loud when you want to.”

“I’m glad I’m not that person anymore.”

“Yeah…” Bea sighed. “Me too. It was hard to see you like that. Knowing it was my fault…”

“No, no, no.” Allie shook her head. “It wasn’t your fault. It was me who thought snorting ice was a good idea. A junkie’s drug abuse is never somebody else’s fault.”

“But it was. " Bea stated. "You did it because of me.”

“I did it because I was out of my mind. I did it because it was the only relief I knew of. It was because of the not ideal situation between you and I, but…” Allie grabbed Bea’s face with both hands and pulled her closer to hers. “It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t make me snort ice. That is all on me.”

“I know the actual snorting was your doing.” Bea said, stroking Allie’s cheek. “But the reason why you thought going back on ice was a good idea was me. Me not trusting you, me thinking you could betray me like that… I’m sorry. I should have known better.”

“No, it’s okay.” Allie said. “I wasn’t thinking straight. Ice was my thing when I was in the streets, when nothing seemed to matter. I felt a bit lost when you were attacked. I didn’t snort ice only because you didn’t trust me. The main reason was that I was afraid you were going to die. Because you were dead. Lying in a puddle of water, your eyes open wide, you weren’t breathing… You were dead. Because of me. Because Kaz used me and our meet ups to hurt you. Because Ferguson used Kaz in order to get to you. I felt like it was all my fault.”

“Except it wasn’t.”

“I guess we both reacted too fast when the other got attacked.”

Bea nodded. “We need to think more before taking action.”

Allie laughed lightly. “We definitely do.”

“Yo, lovebirds !” A familiar voice called.

“Kaz, what’s up ?” Bea asked, getting up.

“Bea, can I talk to you for a second ?”

Bea glanced quickly at Allie before nodding. She walked away with Kaz, knowing that the blonde had something for her to do.

“I still see way too many people getting high.” Kaz began when they were far enough. “Do you know anything about it ?”

“The drug problem has always been led by Tina Mercado.” Bea explained. “Or, well she has since I got here. I’ll ask the usual junkies and I’ll let you know what I find out.”

“Thanks, Bea. You’re a lifesaver.”

Bea smirked before walking away.

She hated drugs.

She had hated them long before Debbie’s death. Drugs were something she couldn’t understand. She knew what feeling hopeless felt like, she knew what not knowing how to survive felt like… But still, drugs were never her thing.

Debbie died because of an overdose. Or, rather, because the damn Holt boy had hot shot her. Then Allie came around, and Bea got to see what drugs did to her. She had seen it before in prison, but seeing the love of her life in that condition… Had made her hatred for drugs only stronger.

She couldn’t let Tina get over with it.


	8. I've Been Here Before

"Okay.” Bea said, her voice calm. “Now you are going to tell me why you’re high.”

The girl laughed loudly, even if Boomer had her hand around her neck, squeezing in lightly. Bea nodded at Boomer, who smashed the girl against the wall again.

“Now.” Bea’s voice was more demanding, fire in her eyes.

“I like being high.” The girl said, then laughed again.

“You know what I want you to tell me.”

The girl shook her head. “I can’t.”

Bea sighed loudly and nodded her head at Boomer who dropped the girl and kicked her hard in the guts. She kept going till the girl raised her hand. Bea crouched next to her, grabbing a handful of hair and pulling it so the girl’s head was lifted from the ground.

“Tina.” The girl whispered.

Bea closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “You know I hate drugs.”

“Yes.”

“Then why do you keep covering for Tina ? She can’t hurt you.” Bea said. “While I clearly can.”

“If you hurt her she’ll stop bringing drugs in and I can’t let that happen.”

“Oh, but it’s happening.”

Satisfied, Bea walked away. Boomer kicked the girl once more before following Bea back to H1.

Bea went back to her cell, frustrated. “Damn Mercado.” She said, under her breath.

She went to lay down on her bed and, shortly after, was joined by Allie.

“You okay ?” The blonde asked, stroking her hair.

“Yeah, Tina’s still at it.”

Allie rolled her eyes. “She never gets tired, does she ?”

“I’m going to take care of this myself.” Bea stated. “I’ll talk to Kaz and then I’ll take care of it.”

“Can’t you let Kaz take care of it ? You’re still healing up from your wounds !”

 “No, Tina needs to pay. And I need to teach her a lesson. Plus, Kaz could use some help.” Bea explained. “My wounds are healing up nicely enough and I let Boomer and Maxine do most of the work.”

Allie nodded, knowing it was pointless to fight Bea on this. “Alright.”

“I’ll see you later.” Bea said, kissing Allie lightly on the lips before walking to meet with Kaz.

She found her in her unit, a cuppa in her hand, her eyes closed.

“Oi, Kaz.”

Kaz’s eyes snapped opened and she look disoriented for a second. She sighed loudly before directing her attention to Bea.

“Thank God it’s you.” She said.

“We have a problem.” Bea said. Kaz looked positively saddened by Bea’s statement. “But I’ll take care of it myself.”

“What kind of problem ?”

“A drug problem. I just recently found out that it’s still Tina.”

Kaz rolled her eyes and nodded her head. “Just don’t kill her, please.”

Bea smiled at Kaz and nodded slightly. “I’ll see what I can do. You know she gets on my nerves.”

“Don’t let what happened to Allie make you do stupid things.”

Bea’s expression changed. Her eyes darkened, she gritted her teeth and clenched her fists together.

“I hated drugs long before Allie. You might want to remember that a boy I later killed hot shot my daughter.”

“I know that.”

 Bea walked away. Boomer and Maxine were by her side and they walked to the showers, knowing Tina liked her alone time and therefore went to shower when nobody else was around.

Big mistake.

Bea walked in the shower room with a determined look, while Boomer strolled behind her.

“Oi, Tinaaa.” Bea called.

Tina pretended not to hear them and kept showering. When Bea opened her shower curtain, she turned around, looking annoyed.

Bea smiled. “You know, when a murderer comes find you when you’re alone in the shower, you might want to look a tad more frightened.”

“You know I’m not scared of you.” Tina said, an annoying smirk on her face.

“You aren’t, are you ?” Bea said, before grabbing Tina’s head and smashing it against the wall. “You should be.”

Boomer was right behind her, ready to take over if Tina were to fight back. Bea had asked her to come back her up, and they had left Maxine just outside the door.

Bea twisted Tina’s arm behind her back, making her winch in pain, and whispered : “You know how much I hate drugs.”

She shoved Tina to the ground and began kicking her hard, first in the guts, then on the face. Tina was spitting up blood. Bea crouched next to her, showing her the blade she was hiding in her sleeve.

“Next time I hear that you’re bringing drugs in, I’ll use this.” She grabbed her head again and smashed it to the floor. “You were here when I killed Jacs. You know it wasn’t pretty. Think about that before smuggling drugs in here again. And remember I only need a bloody pen.”

She got up to walk away, but stopped on her steps, slowly turning around to face Tina. She walked back next to her, stepping on Tina’s right hand, that snapped under her weight.

“I’m telling you, Tina. You need to stop this, I’m getting tired.”

Tina screamed in pain, while Bea and Boomer walked away silently. They went back to Kaz’s unit, and Bea nodded at her.

Kaz sighed contently.

They walked back to H1, talking lightly.

“It felt pretty good.” Bea commented.

“I feel ya.” Boomer said. “I always feel good.”

They found Allie, Liz and Doreen sitting on the sofa, all drinking cuppas. They looked like old friends. Bea, Boomer and Maxine joined them, with their own cups. Sometimes it didn’t feel like they were in prison, sometimes it just felt like being home.

Bea looked around.

She was surrounded by her family. She had nothing on the outside, everything she wanted and needed was inside Wentworth.

Next to her, Allie felt the same. Suddenly, and all at once, the fear of having to lead a life on the outside was crushing her chest. She had about nine years and a half to live in Wentworth, she was going to be released into a world she didn’t know. With people she didn’t know. Leaving her whole world inside the thick walls of Wentworth.


	9. You Don't Know The Half Of The Abuse

Bea walked to the governor’s office, as she had done countless times before. She went there every now and then to ask about Ferguson and Will Jackson, who was set to come back to Wentworth in about a month. Often, Vera would call her there to ask her about inmates and the prison’s situation in general. Bea believed Kaz had never even see the office.

“Do you know when her trial is going to be ?”

“I do, but I can’t tell you.”

Bea had her lips pursued. “I’m the only one who knows she’s still here. If I tell the women, there’s going to be a riot.”

Vera thought about it for a second. Bea wasn’t Top Dog anymore, but she trusted her more than she trusted Karen Proctor. She still asked for her when she needed someone to take control. “It’s in two weeks.”

Bea nodded. “Then she’ll be moved. And I’ll be able to stop worrying about this whole shit show.”

Vera looked at her. She pursued her lips and breathed hard. “There’s a chance she might be kept here.”

Bea gasped. “Here ? In general ?”

“Yes.”

“How is that a possibility ? She set the damn prison on fire, killed a woman, tried to kill me, tried to kill Allie, had her only witness killed… All this while being in here !” She was fuming. “What makes you think she won’t try to harm us again ? What makes you think she won’t try to harm you this time ? That woman is reckless.”

“It’s not a decision I took.” Vera explained. “She will be sent where they think she belongs. You need to remember that this is a maximum security prison.”

“She doesn’t belong here. She belongs in a mental institution with bars on the windows and straitjackets. This being a maximum security prison didn’t stop her, she’s a psychopath who needs to be either treated or eliminated. She tried to kill my girlfriend because I defied her. She said Allie was collateral damage !”

“I know, Smith.” Vera said, her voice low. “We’ll see in two weeks.”

Bea felt like screaming. She couldn’t believe she was supposed to worry about Ferguson once more. It was too much to handle, she wasn’t like Jacs, nor like Franky. She was something else. Someone more difficult to take care of. Bea had tried that on her own skin.

“I’m telling you this now. If she gets back here, in general, I won’t stop the women from harming her. I most definitely will be helping them.”

Bea scoffed before walking away. She was going to have to tell Allie. She feared it wasn’t going to be pretty. She had promised she wouldn’t lie anymore, but she was so sure the Ferguson business was going to take care of itself… They couldn’t let her back to Wentworth. They couldn’t let The Freak back in general.

She slowly walked back to H1, hoping she wouldn’t find Allie there. She knew she had to tell her, but she dreaded that moment. Allie wasn’t going to take it lightly, Bea suddenly regretted the moment she chose to lie to her. She had done it to protect her, like when she lied about lagging. She hoped Allie would understand.

 Unfortunately, Allie was waiting for her in her cell.

Allie smiled at her, but soon realised something was wrong. Something big. Bea looked pale, her eyes were tired, darker than usual. She dragged her feet behind her, making every step she took look painful.

“What’s wrong ?” The blonde asked as Bea sat down next to her.

“I need to tell you something, but you won’t like it.”

Allie nodded, her heart pounding in her chest. Life was finally getting peaceful in Wentworth, she couldn’t believe something was wrong again.

“The Freak is here.”

Allie’s eyes widened in terror. “What do you mean she’s here ?”

“She’s being kept here until her trial, she’s in the slot. I just went to see the governor, who told me she might be kept here even after the trial, even if she told me ”

“Fuck. Fuck. Fucking shit.” Allie was shaking slightly as she tried to process what Bea had just told her. She looked like she was going to cry. Bea wrapped her arms around her, but Allie quickly pulled away, her eyes glossy. “Wait, how long have you known ?”

“Kim came to see me about ten days after we got back to tell me that she saw Ferguson in the slot.”

“You’ve known for two months ?”

“Yes.”

Allie suddenly got up. “You promised you wouldn’t lie to me.”

“I know.” Bea stated. “I just thought you wouldn’t want to know.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Allie said, before turning around to walk away.

“Allie, wait.” Bea said. “I know I should have told you, but I thought her trial was going to be soon. I thought we were going to get rid of her.”

“So, you weren’t going to tell me. You did only because she might be kept here.”

“She attacked you.” Bea said, her voice slightly shaking. “I was trying to protect you.”

“Protect me from what ? She tried to kill you as much as she tried to kill me. You should have told me.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” Bea sighed. “I thought I could take care of it without having people worry about it.”

“I’m not just people, Bea. You can’t promise me shit and then forget about it whenever it suits you.”

Allie stormed off, walking aimlessly until she found herself in the kitchen. There she was approached by Tina, who was still sporting bruises from Bea’s bashing.

“What are you doing here, Tina ?” She asked, tears streaming down her face.

“You know what I do in the kitchen.” She smirked. “Novak, you look like you might need this.” She said, passing her a small transparent bag with a white powder inside. Allie reluctantly took it, then bolted towards the supply room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry ?


	10. Please Don't Make Any Sudden Moves

Bea went running through the whole prison, looking for Allie. She had waited for one hour before deciding it was time to leave her cell. She had left Allie some time to think, deciding it was best to let her calm down before trying to talk to her once again.

When she realised the blonde was nowhere to be found, she started to panic. Allie wasn’t in H3 with Kaz, she couldn’t find her in the exercise area nor in the shower block. She walked through the hallways and even went to the small gym, hoping to find her there. She talked to every single person she found as she walked around, but nobody seemed to have seen the blonde.

As she walked around, she found Tina, who was standing with her arms crossed and a smug smirk that made Bea sick.

“Have you seen Allie ?” She asked. She had talked to almost every inmate to find Allie and was desperate enough to go to Tina.

“You can bet I did.” Tina smirked.

Bea’s heart stopped. “When ? Where ?”

“In the kitchen.” Tina whispered, walking closer to Bea. “I hope she’s enjoying the bag of ice I gave her. It was an hour ago, though… I’m guessing she’s as high as a plane now. You’ll see her soon enough, you know how junkies get when they’re high, _mama_...”

Bea’s eyes widened as she thought about countless ways to break Tina’s neck. She thought about hitting her right on the spot, but there were too many guards around them and she couldn’t afford to go into the slot when Allie was in the kitchen with drugs in her hands.

Bea knew that Allie wouldn’t use again.

She bolted towards the kitchen, immediately heading towards the supply room.

There she found Allie standing motionless in front of the counter, her shoulders shaking profusely and Bea could hear that the blonde was sobbing.

“Allie…”

The blonde quickly turned around, her eyes were red and puffy, wide in surprise as she stared at Bea. Behind her back, Bea could see three perfect white lines on the counter and a transparent empty bag right next to them.

Allie’s lips were trembling, together with her whole body and while her hands were stiff.

“I…”

Bea was frozen. She didn’t know what to say, nor what to do. She felt tears welling up in her eyes, but tried to keep them down.

“I…” Allie tried again. “I… I didn’t.”

Bea felt relief rushing through her body, and she took a deep breath. She knew she couldn’t trust her voice, but decided to speak anyways. “I know.”

“I wanted to.” Allie admitted, having calmed down considerably. “Tina gave me the bag and I wanted to take it all. I thought it didn’t matter. I thought one time wouldn’t change anything. I prepared it and… I just couldn’t.”

And there, Allie broke down. She started sobbing uncontrollably, covering her face with both her hands. Bea moved forward to comfort her, but the blonde raised one of her hands to stop her.

“I couldn’t because I keep my fucking promises, and the idea of hurting you breaks my heart.”

Bea was crying with her. “I’m sorry.” She whispered. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know you didn’t.” Allie interjected. “But it doesn’t change the fact that you did. I don’t want you to lie to me.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

Allie scoffed. “Don’t say anything. I’ll get over it. I know this would have been worse than what you did and I’m not trying to compare the pain you would have felt if I had used this gear with what I feel because you lied to me. But it’s still painful to know that you lied to me. Again.”

And with that, she was out of the room and walking back to her cell.

Bea stood there for a few more minutes, trying to control her tears. She felt like she had failed again, she felt like she had disappointed Allie again. She kept taking deep breaths after deep breaths to calm down, but everything felt pointless.

The only thing that felt right was going after Tina again. Before going to find her, she went back to her cell to flush the drugs Allie had left on the counter. She didn’t bring Boomer and Maxine this time, but decided that it was better to go alone. It was personal, she didn’t need to have back up on this. She went to Tina’s cell, where she found her sleeping.

“It’s not the right time for a nap, Mercado.” She said, slamming the door closed behind her back.

Tina bolted up, with fear in her eyes. “What do you want ?”

“I want you to stop messing around. I want you to stop with this drug smuggling and, most of all, I want you to stop going after Allie.”

Tina didn’t have time to respond, because Bea quickly took out the blade she had hidden in her sleeve. “I told you this was going to happen.”

Bea didn’t want to kill her. She didn’t want to have another death on her shoulders. She didn’t want to see Tina’s face every night when she closed her eyes to sleep. She only wanted her to learn her lesson.

Apparently, the countless beatings weren’t enough for the woman standing in front of her.

When she attacked her, Tina didn’t even try to defend herself. She knew it was pointless. She knew if she managed to somehow escape, Bea would come after her on a different time. Angrier.

Bea slashed her skin a few times, striking her in places that were going to hurt like hell, without being life threatening. Tina didn’t even scream, but tried to muffle her groans of pain with her pillow after Bea had shoved her back to her bed.

Bea kept hitting her and cutting her skin, staring at Tina the whole time, never leaving her eyes. She left a bleeding Tina on the floor after a few minutes, making one last threat before walking back to H1.

“If you ever come near Allie again, I swear I’ll kill you.”

Tina knew she meant it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might have a thing for Bea bashing people


	11. I Never Doubted That

“You need to stop this nonsense, because it’s getting annoying.” Kaz’s voice was steady and calm, her eyes betrayed her attempt to hide the slight anger that was driving her.

Allie sighed. “I definitely did not expect you to defend her.”

“I am not defending her.” Kaz stated. “But she did nothing wrong. I see why you’re hurt, but she was trying to protect you. How do you feel now that you know that The Freak is still here ?”

“I’m scared.” Allie admitted.

Kaz looked at her with both eyebrows raised. “See ? You were better when you didn’t know. You know that she’s here, but you can’t do shit about it, and I promise you I’ll kill you if you even think about doing something.”

“I just hate lies. I know I can’t do shit about that damn woman, but I had the right to know.”

“I know, but sometimes lies are necessary. She did tell you when she thought it was time.”

Allie knew that Kaz was right. She hated to admit it, but she had always been kind of dramatic.

“I just don’t know...”

“What ?”

“I’ve never really been in a relationship before.” Allie said. “There were many girls in my life, usually more than one at the same time… But it was never serious. It was never about love and often only about sex, pleasure and money. I always know what to do when it comes to sex and pleasuring one another… But relationships aren’t my thing. I don’t know how to deal with emotions… And Bea makes me feel a lot of things.”

“You can learn, kiddo. Relationship aren’t easy, but this one is worth it.”

“I’m just scared. Of getting hurt, of hurting Bea… She’s lived a life of abuse and tragedies, I don’t want to be another problem in her life. I don’t want to be another reason why she suffers.” The blonde said, her voice shaking slightly.  “She’s been through enough… I want to make her happy, I just don’t know how.”

Kaz looked at her. “I’m pretty sure you know how to make her happy. She’s a changed woman, Allie. Everyone who knew her before you came around says she’s changed, for the better.”

Allie smiled. “She deserves do much. You see, even now… I’m mad because she lied to me, but I keep thinking that I just want things to go back to where they were the other day. When we were happy just looking at the clouds and laughing together. When life seemed easy and I felt careless. When I’m with her, I don’t feel in prison. Whatever we have makes me feel freer than I’ve ever been.”

“Love makes life easier and harder at the same time, you simply have to understand if the hard times are worth it.”

“They definitely are with Bea.”

“Then go get your girl. Go tell her everything you just told me. Tell her how you feel, tell her that you’re scared, tell her that you believe in what you share.”

Allie closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“What’s wrong ?”

“Nothing, I need to go and talk to Bea.”

Kaz smiled. “That sounds like an awesome idea, bye kiddo.”

The blonde quickly walked back to H1, where she found Bea talking with Maxine. She stood there for a second before speaking up.

“Hey, Bea… Can I talk to you for a second ?”

Bea’s eyes widened. “Yes, of course you can.”

She got up and led Allie to her cell, where they sat together on her bed.

“I thought about it. It hurts to think that you’d lie to me, but I understand why you did that.”

Bea smiled at her. “Thank you.”

Allie smiled back. “I am not good at the whole relationship thing. I mean, nobody wanted to actually be with a prostitute, ya know ? I don’t know how to react to things sometimes, my head tells me to be mad, and my heart tells me to love you with all I have…”

“You don’t need to worry about that. When I told you that I didn’t know what to do while we were kissing, I didn’t only mean sex-wise. I reckon what I had with Harry wasn’t a relationship. This is the first time I love someone who loves me back as much as I do. It’s all new to me, as it is to you. We can learn together.”

“From what I gathered, you’re quite a fast learner.” Allie smirked. “And yes, we can learn together. We can make each other better.”

“You are a gift the world gave me, Allie. Sometimes we make mistakes, and… I was with Harry for sixteen years. Sixteen years of knowing that I wasn’t free, that I was supposed to do whatever he told me to do, without thinking twice. When I got here, I felt free. He couldn’t control me while I was in here and I could do what I wanted.” Bea pursued her lips. “What I have with you is completely different. You make me feel free. You make me feel things I’ve never experienced before, things I didn’t know existed. I thought this kind of love only existed in books and movies and now I’m overwhelmed by this rush of emotions I feel anytime you touch me, anytime you smile at me, anytime you kiss me. What we have is real, deep and indescribable. It almost feels like magic.”

“It is magic.” Allie agreed. “Before coming here, I thought I didn’t deserve real love. I thought I was a waste of space who deserved nothing and no one. I still feel that way sometimes… But I can see in your eyes when you look at me that you don’t see a waste of space.”

“You deserve everything in the world. You deserve to be loved, to be cherished, to be appreciated. I love you with all my heart, all my soul. I love you, I cherish you, I appreciate you.”

 “I never doubted that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who don't like Kaz/don't like her friendship with Allie... I don't like her either. Well, I started kind of liking her during the finale, the whole "I love her too" thing when Bea attacked her made me change my mind about her. I feel like she's made some bad decisions, but she has taken care of Allie for a long time.


	12. Freak Trial

 It was the day of Ferguson’s trial.

Bea kept pacing back and forth in H1, waiting for Will to come and tell her what the verdict was. She was determined not to see that woman again. For once, she didn’t even care about revenge, as long as the woman got to disappear from her life. She was nervous, more than she had been on the days of her trials. Possibly even more nervous than she was on the day of Allie’s.

Allie was sitting on a chair, looking at Bea walking. She felt like her world was going in slow motion, her hopes of having Ferguson locked away forever were high, but the chances were small. She didn’t really care about what was going to happen to Joan, as long as she wasn’t going to stay in Wentworth. She couldn’t fathom the idea of having her around.

Neither of them had slept that night. They were together in Allie’s cell, holding each other, sometimes whispering words of comfort. Trying to hide their respective fear and nervousness.

If Ferguson was to stay in Wentworth, she was going to be brought back into general. This possibility put both Bea and Allie in great danger. She was a smart woman and she wasn’t going to fail a second time. Or a third.

Liz, Doreen, Maxine and Boomer were on the couch, their gazes shifting from Allie to Bea. They were all worried about The Freak coming back to Wentworth, because she was a danger to them as well, but they knew her anger towards Bea and Allie was worse. She had tried to kill the both of them, after all.

When she saw Will walking in H1, Allie bolted to her feet and walked to meet Bea. The red-head stood frozen on her spot, only moving to grab Allie’s hand to hold. Her grip on the blonde’s hand was bone shattering, but Allie couldn’t care less.

“Ferguson’s trial is over, Miles just called to inform me about the verdict.”

Bea looked at him expectantly, she couldn’t talk and waited for Will to go on.

“She was sentenced to ten years in prison, she was found guilty of attempted murder.”

Allie scoffed.

“She won’t be spending her sentence here.”

Bea sighed in relief and hugged Allie tightly. She could hear her friends cheering in the background and felt a kind of relief she hadn’t felt in a long time.

“Thanks.” She whispered.

“I know she didn’t get what she deserved, but she’ll be in a different prison, far from you. She won’t be able to harm you again.”

Allie felt like she was going to cry. She was disappointed because The Freak had gotten her same sentence, but it didn’t really matter. What mattered was that their attacker was in a different prison, far from them.

That night, they were lying together in Allie’s bed, talking about their days. After a moment of silence, Bea cleared her voice.

“Do you ever fear I might hurt you ?”

Allie frowned in confusion. “Hurt me ?”

“Yeah… I mean, I’m a murderer after all. Do you ever fear we might get in a fight, or we might break up… And I’m going to hurt you ? Beat you up ? Or even kill you ?”

Allie sat up, bringing Bea with her. “Why are you asking me this ?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes I forget I killed two people and I tried to murder my husband. Plus, I’ve been Top Dog for a long time, leading countless beatings and bashing a few people myself. But when I do remember… I’m scared my actions and my past might frighten you.”

“I forget too, sometimes. I don’t look at you and see a murderer, if that’s what you’re thinking. I don’t wake up in the morning thinking ‘look at the murderer sleeping next to me’, I think ‘look at the beautiful human being I got myself’.” Bea blushed as Allie spoke. “I know what you did, I know why you did those things… And I reckon you did what you had to do. You didn’t try to kill Harry because you thought it’d be fun. You did it because he abused you. You killed Jacs because she was the reason why your daughter is dead, and same goes with the Holt boy. And we’re both in prison. Just because I didn’t murder anyone, doesn’t mean I have a better past. I was a prostitute, often high on ice, then I went with Kaz bashing men around…”

“I know that. Doesn’t the idea of me killing people when I need to frighten you ? I mean, most people don’t kill others out of vengeance.”

“No.” Allie stated, without hesitation. “I think I know you pretty well. Sure, you can be short tempered, but I don’t think you’d kill me after a fight.”

The blonde was smiling, stroking Bea’s hair.

“I don’t think I would ever harm you.” Bea commented. “Not even if we were to break up, or something.”

“I know that.” Allie said. “You did help me even when you thought I had helped The Freak with her attack on you… I know you care and I know you don’t hurt the people you care about. There’s just something in my heart that tells me that you’d never hurt me, no matter what happens between us.”

“You’re right about that. You… You are my world, my everything. And I’m pretty sure nothing is ever going to change that.”

“Most people can’t wait to get out of here. I honestly dread the day I’ll be released, because it means I won’t be spending every day with you anymore.”

“You’ll come to visit, though.”

“Of course I will, but it won’t be the same, and the thought saddens me.”

“I know.” Bea sighed. “I feel the same. I don’t want to think about that now, though. I have you here, in my arms… And there’s no place I’d rather be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the final chapter. There's going to be a second part (and even a third one) and I'll be posting it next week.


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